First of all, have you ever heard of a dumber username than “Gravidtron”?
I’ve gone by a lot of different names in different internet communities, but none that I’ve regretted quite as much as Gravidtron. I came up with it for my first post on Cheviot’s Place, and unfortunately I decided to stick with it. I took it with me to the PGN Network forums, then to Stuffed Online, and by the time PG-13 got started I had to commit to it; I’d built a name and personality on it by then. People had started calling me ‘Grav’, a nickname I loathed, so I started dropping the ‘ravid’ part and going by G’Tron every chance I got. Unfortunately, large organizations (like Gmail and AIM) usually require a name of at least six letters, so I’ve had to use Gravidtron in most official contexts.
Many of us in the community are cursed with dumb names that we started using when we were young and stupid and are now stuck with. Let’s examine these names. Remember, mine is still the absolute stupidest and most laughable, so I’m not laughing at them, I’m laughing with them. I hope.
The Pregnant Drawer
The creator of PGN/Manga Bellies is in much the same boat as I am; his name is awkward to say and to type, and sometimes casts unfortunate aspersions on him by fans who aren’t paying attention to his gender. (This problem has oft been lamented by PumpkinBelly, another former community elder.) Due to these issues, he’s done the same as me and taken to calling himself “TPD,” a less than euphonious set of initals, or sometimes “TP Drawer,” which unfortunately suggests the softest and fluffiest place in the restroom.
My Suggested Alternate Name: “Longhouse”. It suggests the long time he’s been around, the idiom of ‘big as a house’, and it’s an upgrade of his American Indian dwelling-based name: from TP to longhouse, get it?
BelliusMaximus
Bellius Maximus, to whom I’m smugly indifferent, and Bellymanga, whom I consider my friend, share the same problem with their names. One is that actually having the word “belly” in your name makes people in your house suspicious; if you leave anything you’ve drawn out on your desk, they’re likely to put two and two together. Bellymanga (whom I’ve nicknamed “B-Mang”) had this to say on the subject:
Q: Do you ever regret having a username with “belly” in it?
A: Occasionally. Mostly when normal people see my handle and wonder what it refers to. Usually I lie and say that I meant it to be “Bell” instead of “Belly”. Thank goodness for the man who invented the typo! ^^
Also, Bellius Maximus and Bellymanga share a naming issue with Barbara Streisand.
My Suggested Alternate Name: Bellius Maximus has given up his career in the community to focus on his World of Warcraft career, so “Axebeard, Dwarven Prince of Slagthorn” or something to that effect would probably be most appropriate.
billcaryfanofcutepregos
Bill Cary is one of the regulars at Cheviot’s Place. He can easily be recognized there, as he’s the one who is a fan of cute pregnant women. I guess the rest of Cheviot’s patrons are more interested in pregnant women who are not cute… (actually, considering some of the Flickr links that are posted there, I wouldn’t be surprised). Is that his real name? I kind of hope not, it kind of defeats the purpose. There’s another regular there whose name is “Zack The Prego Maniac,” but that’s actually a fairly clever pun on some old commercials, so we’ll forgive the use of the annoying p-word.
My Suggested Alternate Name: “William Aaron Cary, Appreciator of Attractive Pregnant Women.” That may not be his real middle name; all the better, I say.
EAAAAAAAATTT!!!
Feedee and Feeder by ~EggHeadCheesyBird on deviantART
Hahahaha, wow. This is a bit off the topic of pregnancy, but I had to talk about this guy because he was my all-time favorite.
Thousands of Internet years ago there was a website called Stuffed Online. It quickly became a nexus of DIY expansion art, and established a number of rules that are still in effect at most sites today, like the grouping of content by artist and a strict separation of artwork by gender.
Hundreds of people frequented Stuffed Online, so many that it became necessary (or perhaps just fun) for Frosty, the site admin, to put up a “Who’s Who” feature. This basically amounted to a large guestbook with several fields in which each person could talk about their likes and dislikes. This was, not to put too fine a point on it, the absolute funniest thing in the world. You can check out the archive here for epic lulz, but this one is the best.
EAAAAAAAATTT!!! is a: Feeder
EAAAAAAAATTT!!! Enjoys: Normal Eating, Force Feeding, Bellies
Sex: Male
Normal Eating Comments: FEEEEEEEEEEEEED THEM!!!!!!!!!!! they must not be able to MOOOOOOOVVVVEEEE!!!!
Force Feeding Comments: tie em up and FEEEEEEEEEEEED THEM!!!!(aproval)
Vore Comments: you think I actually like this sh*t!!!ffeed them acctual FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!
Description:
FORCE THEM TO EAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!
Favorite Fantasy:: to have a luv slave that I can inflate,feed,imobilize,impregnate(Im’a fan o’ pregos),and generally STUUUUUUUFFFFF!!!!
A Little Information: i like an extremely swolen woman(I don’nt likefuries either)
For best results, try to read it out loud in a Brian Posehn screaming voice.
When you get your breath, look closely and notice the girlfriend request hidden in there. Ninety percent of the Who’s Who got turned into an impromptu dating service like that.
Here’s the punchline: guess what the ONLY Who’s Who entry that ever got a response was?
My Suggested Alternate Name: Gee, I don’t know, maybe “EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
King Belly Lover the 3rd
Another ‘belly’ name from the early days of PG-13, and easily the most nonsensical, especially when you take his old signature file into account– it involved his vow to impregnate every female in the Milky Way and then sit on ice for a while. Goofy, yes, but then you look at the name and start to wonder: why “the third”? Is this implying that there were two previous Kings Belly Lover? Or that the fetish does in fact run in the family, and that his father and grandfather were belly lovers themselves? How does one find this out? Did they sit him down on a park bench and tell him the fetishistic facts of life? It puzzles the very will!
To his credit, King Belly Lover The Third changed his name to a simple set of initials (KBL3rd) very early on, and soon after that changed his name entirely, becoming “Omni Kash The Demon Slayer.” Rather pretentious by comparison, but worse yet, he never actually registered it on my message board until much, much later, which means there’s about 100 different Omni Kash The Demon Slayers registered on the PG-13 message board, due to a strange server difference between EZboard and PHPbb. Oh well, better than than “CheapViagraNowTryYouWillSee.”
My Suggested Alternate Name: Combine the two into the shorter and cleaner “King Kash”… or would that sound too much like a fly-by-night payday loan place?
There are lots and lots of others to be found on deviantArt and other community hangouts. If there’s one thing I recommend if you don’t want a stupid sounding name, though, it’s this: please don’t settle for a randomized numbers name. Even “I Love Bellies” is better than “I Love B101149″.
October 10th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
My personal favorites are “melovepreggo”.. or actually just an variation of that because there’s too many to list.
October 10th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
…and once you’ve picked the name, you’re practically STUCK with it! XD
Emperor. Bass. Exe.
No, I’m NOT a bloody fish! Quit asking! ಠ_ಠ
…>.> Well actually nobody’s ever asked me that, but I thought I’d just take this moment to clarify.
In any event, I use E.B.E whenever I need to save on time and/or message space.
October 10th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I would create names like those, but they’re a bit creepy for my tastes, or they’re names I wouldn’t want to show up in my history… actually scratch that, I’ll stick to randomized shit
October 10th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
It’s probably just one reason why 12-year-olds don’t vote.
When I came up with my DA account name, I used a handle based on my fandoms at the time.
Lady, because I imagined I was secretly a princess.
Nayru, the goddess of wisdom from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Moon, from Sailor Moon
And I’m still trying to abandon it. No doubt, I will eventually come to hate my current handle too.
October 10th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
I catch a lot of flack from the Star Wars community over my handle. When people see “Darthirian” they instantly cut it to just Darth.
I understand, mainly because it’s how I came up with the name about 8 years ago, but for the life of me if you refer to me by that name please use the full spelling. I’ve started going by Daith in other communities just to get away from it.
October 11th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Way way back in the summer of 2000, I made my first post to the PG-13 board. At the time I was listening to the Beatles Blue Album, and a stick of antiperspirant was sitting on my desk. Thus, Invisible Walrus – goes on smooth, goo goo g’joob. This was a maeusophilia-and-stuffing-only handle though; I go by a different one for my other online activities, and to be honest I don’t think I’ve used this for the past two years since I got a new computer and lost my log-in to the old PG-13 boards. I still watch KB and G’ on Deviantart though.
Congrats on the new format, by the way!
October 11th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Whereas I had just read through the “Epic Level Handbook” for Dungeons & Dragons and picked out a class I thought was neat – it basically boils down to being a cop in the interdimensional equivalent of New York City in a medieval fantasy milieu. However that works out.
Boring, more than anything else.
What else was there… ah, a name generated from a typo, a fantasy race with a few numbers jammed on the end, and an obscure term with a German article in front of it thanks to an online service that told me the original was taken and suggested an alternative.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:06 am
my internet handle is my dad’s old army nickname i only added the 101 part because most websites require numbers in it as somehow someone else always already has it
October 12th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Amusingly enough, around a decade ago, I came up with my current internet handle, TheGamer2kx. Originally, I just wanted “TheGamer” however, stupid AIM told me i had to add more to it, and suggested something like “try adding the year to your name” Being the brilliant kid i was I added 2kx to it. my reasoning at the time? “I Won’t have to change my screen name for a Thousand years!” I’ve tried multiple times to change my online identity, but it’s nearly impossible… I’ve found that when you give yourself an online name, it sticks, no matter how much you want it to go away. It’s like a boomerang, or one of those tetherballs you had as a kid. You’d throw it away, and it always came back to nail you in the back of the head.
Whee.
-TG2kx
October 12th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I know of a particularly silly nickname that has crawled it’s way in relative quiet across the internet from the early days of Manga Belly all the way to the more modern era of Deviant art.
Yep. Jedi-and.
That was a really silly name that has stuck with me, and to be honest now I’ve had it for such a long time I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of it and I’m not sure I’d want to. But let’s face it, it’s silly XD I’ve tried to change it to Syonide a few times but it doesn’t quite sit right with me; you know?
Welcome back to the world, by the by. Any chance I can offer up some artwork on the whole thing? I fancy a quieter setting I can post some art.
October 12th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Hidon Redux is actually the least of my worries. My main name is lowercased with a number; the classic sign of annoying ‘noobitude.’ I have a secondary common name that’s actually a name I pulled out of my ass that sorta sounded vaguely Japanese, and turns out, actually is.
Then I became Hidon, because I was a silly lurker for a few years, and by the time I started drawing I’d forgotten my PG13 account and remade myself as the ‘redux’ version.
I actually rather like this name. I never played FF6 all that much so I never think of the monster, and it’s got a nice ring to it that helped lead to my badly punned website name.
October 13th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Well, my silly little moniker has no relevance to the community whatsoever. It’s simply a tribute to a fictitious fighter pilot of video game legend, or something. But, I’ve used it as a handle for a while now, and I’m pretty much set with it, though it’s a really sad attempt at being cool.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:30 am
You know what’s hilarious? Everyone here seems to have taken it for granted that their name is one of the lame ones. Yet I see a lot of the names I always thought were clever and evocative– Invisible Walrus, Union Sentinel, Hidon Redux, to name a few– being casually snarked on by their own users. My fears about people taking this post too seriously are well assuaged.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Oh, and since everyone else is listing their other names, I’ve also been known as:
MantecaMan
Pyno Jam
Playground Psychotic (P_P)
Ravecavy
Jinikato, God of Fandom
Stormy Pinkness
Krepta, Child of the Stars
and most recently, Jarring Contrast
October 14th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Oh I’ll play this game. my name comes from a list of things I wanted to name kids. I used to go by “EnJoi” (Joi being a character) on a chat system but someone kept taking the name so I had to change it. Before that I went by Either Alapeleke or spam_27.
GOOGLE LIKE THE WIND.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Well, I use Lord Harlock and various variations because I started to loath using Rodimus Convoy around 2004. It was mostly because I didn’t want to use an avatar of Rodimus all the time. But I kept RodConvoy on PG-13 just because it was already there. The fact that I lurked on PG-13 forever and a day and only really started posting to praise Miss Mars is another matter entirely.
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
This is pretty much my first internet name, and I made it up with the intent of being entirely unmemorable and meaningless. It’s a butchering of the word ‘kokeshi,’ the japanese wooden doll. Although recently i’ve been going by Boss Lagomorph, and on another forum, ‘pullahoko’ another equally meaningless name that I was stuck with because I was registering for a Youtube account and thought I could change the name later.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
My current screen name’s been my standard for a long time now. Basically I made it up for neopets, and it’s been the first I’ve really gotten into.
In the end though, it’s one of those that comes off as a little pretentious, and really makes no sense at all if you look at it. As such, I’ve evolved the persona behind the name, and the name itself, but the name itself will probably stay with me for the rest of my life.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:05 am
That’s why I chose ‘Ninshinobi.’ Those in the know will recognize the pregnancy-related implications of the word ‘ninshin’, but to anyone who doesn’t, it’s easy enough to pass off as a combination of ‘ninja’ and ‘shinobi.’
September 9th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.