OK, let’s cut to the chase. Reality is getting old.
It’s stale.
It’s predictable.
People are starting to say that life has ‘jumped the shark’.
That’s why we’re starting over.
We need fresh ideas, new talent.
New blood. And we’re not going to get bogged down by history.
Continuity reboot. Starting over from scratch.
That’s why we came to you.
You know all about this whole human reproduction thing, right?
So tell us, how would you do it?
How would you redesign pregnancy itself?
Saburo X:
I’ve got it. I’d reverse The Law of Inverse Fertility.
The Law of Inverse Fertility states that the less someone should be a parent, the more fertile they are. Ergo, stupid people breed like rats in a grain barrel. I’d switch that around and make them sterile. And make it so that fertility/virility ran on a meritocracy scale. So that the smarter and more well balanced you are, the more kids you can have.
So you have to be smart and not crazy.
yeah, too bad for you.
(beat you to it.)
Do you actually have to have merits, like accomplishments? Could a smart and efficient housewife achieve high fertility, or would she have to be a famous astronaut lawyer?
Yes. Especially since a smart and efficient housewife is actually way more valuable than a famous astronaut lawyer. Lawyers are a dime a dozen, literally, given how easy it is to get into law school. But someone that can manage a household filled with kids? that’s challenging.
And, of course it’d be necessary with my system, since…how would astronaut lawyers be able to raise octuplets when they’re running off to space court?
Martian nannies?
Kaileigh Blue:
Uhh… Paper work
Self-serving!
Lots of paper work with intelligence tests
Oh, that’s different.
Well I could have said me…
ALL BABIES COME FROM ME
GET IN LINEGod that sounds kinda gross yet oddly …
You really were meant to be a goddess, weren’t you.
totally
Buddha-ette, hehe
Willamina Dorf.
Oh lord
Darien Shields
I don’t know. My desires can’t be contained within the confines of a single universe.
You don’t have to stick to one method.
Well, you know, magic and stuff. I think the answer would be fairly obvious from my body of work. Pregnant ghosts and AIs, magic and vampires and things. If you could tell me what you’re getting at it might help, y’know?
What I’m getting at is, what would you do besides sex? Or would you stick with sex in this new universe?
Like I said, man. One Universe is not enough to hold my desires. That’s why I write stories about lots of different ones, where you could get pregnant by possession by a pregnant ghost, or cursed magic artifacts, or rogue nanites, or the spirits of mother earth.
I suppose I wouldn’t mind a Universe where you could just get knocked up on love, but that alone would be a bit boring. It’d make for a lot more pregnant lesbians, though.
So in your universe pregnancy would be something that occurred with such frequency and varying causes that it would be hard to understand.
*sigh* How many times do I have to say it? One Universe is not enough. That’s why my stories aren’t in continuity!
MULTIVERSE THEN WHATFUCKINGEVER
Look, man, I don’t know. That’s the answer. I don’t know how I’d make a perfect Universe or even a Universe that’s perfect in one aspect. That’s why I’m not God.
Good thing, too.
We are still open to suggestions, if you have any.
January 22nd, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Okay, I got it.
Upon birth, everyone gets their genitals removed. Those parts are stored in some sort of crotch bank, I dunno, in labeled jars or something. When they grow up and decide they want a family, both parties head back to the reproductive complex and take aptitude tests. Proof of marriage, proper income, sufficient parental skills, crap like that. Should they be deemed suitable for breeding, they get their special parts back and the thumbs up for going at it like rabbits. Should they fail, ramifications range from a six month waiting period before trying again to watching a certified doctor crush their testicles in a C-clamp.
January 22nd, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Ouch, bit excessive. It sure would be nice to see stupidity wiped clean in several generations, enough intelligent parents raising their kids right and maybe education wouldn’t be in shambles.
In my world I see an inverted pregnancy scenario, in other words, children are born via pregnancy. The different part is later in development (In this fantasy, lets say around early twenties, can’t get much later in puberty than a decade later), the womb expands over several months to hold a developing fetus when the time comes, a woman would be incapable of getting pregnant without a fully expanded uterus. It would appear as though the woman was pregnant, while they technically weren’t. Then, say she meets Mr. Right and they get freaky, she would remain around the same size for 9 months, give birth, and several months or years after the birth she would expand again, at which point she would have kids. Something like this would be perfect, it would get stress off the welfare system if a woman could only be impregnated after several years, eating disorders would be down (Why would thin be in if half the population was virtually guaranteed to be round), they’d develop maternity wear that don’t resemble circus tents. People would constantly be glaring into the face of the beauty of reproduction and impending birth, pregnant women wouldn’t be mortified because everyone could tell they were expecting. Its the communist approach, everyone gets a loaf of bread, and the illusion of a bun in the oven. And during menopause, the uterus would simply contract.
January 23rd, 2009 at 1:33 am
I think I have a good idea of how this could work.
In the future or the present somewhere between one half to two thirds of the female population become sterile while the remainder become super fertile to the point where they can stay pregnant all the time and produce babies without changing pregnancies. Because of the need to continue breeding the fertile population is used to produce the world’s babies. A new branch of the government would be put in place to find families for all the babies.
Pretty much all of the fertile girls let themselves be pregnant all the time after puberty because they are paid by the government to produce offspring. Of course like everyone else they can still get an education and build a career in business, politics, engineering, education, science and Law. and in some cases even slightly extreme jobs like space pilot. They would just do their jobs pregnant.
Now as for us in the community there really wouldn’t be a pregnancy fetish at that point just more of a taste or perference. Like picking between short girls or tall girls. Pregnant girls or not pregnant girls
January 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 am
Hmm, how to redeisgn something that is core to the survival of the species. I supopse the goal is to make it more efficient. But what is an efficient pregnancy? Some might say it is one that lacks in pain and annoyance. Other’s might say multiples would be the solution. Should we perhaps be able to cross the line, and men become pregnant as well? SHould pregnnacy become, dare we say, pleasurable? It is an enigma. And regardless of how the answer is packaged, it is an arrogant thought that you are knowledgable enough to improve upon nature.
Thankfully, I too can play the game of arrogance. But hoenstly, I don’t think I would change too much. Making pregnancy a pleasurable experience naturally would make a lot of women happy. But I don’t think it should be. Pregnancy should be a sacrafice. We all know how humans react to pleaure. They always want more, and frequently don’t care how they ge tit once they are hooked. I somehow fear that a pleasurable pregnancy would not create mothers, but women who are just addicted to pleasure. I tend to repsect women who can enjoy their pregnancy, despite the struggle. It shows that they realize it’s more than the struggle and annoyance. That beyond those inital emotions, it can be and is so much more. I firmly beleive that if a Mother should enjoy her pregnancy, it should be more than for carnal pleasure. Her enjoyment should be emotional, and soemtimes physical, not just physical.
Perhaps multiples? Well, this is a mixed emotion. While I think that a woman who is gifted to support more than one life is a bueatiful site. I don’t think the world would be a better palce if every Plain Jane had 2-3 kids in one go. IT would overpopulate the world, and frankly there are alot of people who should not procreate and them procreating more is just a bad thing. Also, babies are a big event that provokes alot of change. One turns people’s live’s upside down, I only can assume tha the chaos is exponentially greater with two or more. Not everyone is readily capable of supporting a sudden family of 4-6. Heck some can’t even support a family of 2.
I saved this one for last, but should mean be able to somehow experience the special joy/annoyance, the pain/pleasure that their significant others go thru during this special time? Actually, I like this idea. However, I do not think the man himself needs to be pregnant. Perhaps some sort of mental connection? Or ability for htem to feel the expereince along with their wife? I cna only imagine (giving that the couple is in love, and close to begin with) that it owuld only enhance their relationship, and would help men tend to their wives. Also, not many think about it, but sometimes men feel left out, and left behind during this time. After all everyone makes sucha fuss and apys attention to the woman so much how could they not feel like somehow they are now les important, or inferior to their spouse. Especially if they don’t know how to tend to their wife, or they have trouble doing so. So I imagine it would also help their own self esteem, and attitue. Enhacing the experience for all.
*rubs head* Well, there you have it. Sorry if I typo-ed, I’m not rereading it. It’s like 5am here. I hope I didn’t come across as preachy. *shrug*
January 23rd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Heaven in one hand, Hell in the other.
Perfection is a goal only for the peculiar. We can conceive of it, but it always remains beyond our reach.
What would I do? Choice – control.
But first, change the human race. Everything else flows from that.
January 24th, 2009 at 2:54 am
Realistically, I’d hope remove the pain of childbirth and the other discomforts of pregnancy.
And, yes, there are curious consequences to be brought about should that occur.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
That’s interesting; I like a bit of every idea.
One of the few I have had in the past would be that women wouldn’t be necessaruly infertile, but they simply couldn’t get pregnant themselves; only a fraction of the female population could becme pregant, and adding to that, each subsecuent pregnancy would have the potential to hold more babies than the previous one, so that would be like an ability that could be developed more and more.
Despite of that, those women wouldn’t necessary be fertile themselves, they might even be infertile. And in order to help the rest of the population, they would be elegible to be paid a lot by the governments to be surrogate mothers with increasing capacity, in order to make possible for the rest of the world reproduce.
And all pregnancies, no matter how extreme, would be safe for the mother and the children, and nice, and disease-free, and stretch mark free, and… well you get the idea.
And one of those special women would be my wife, and for her at least, would be a pleasant experience =).
January 31st, 2009 at 4:53 am
It needs MOAR DESU. There is no exceptions.
Not even to the act of baby fermentation.
March 5th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Posting a bit late, but only found the site this week and… well… favourite subject, hehe.
1: Easier and safer. Not entirely easy, there should be some challenge to it, but nothing like feeling sick, extreme pain, or debilitating tiredness or heaviness. I’m sure more women would then want to be pregnant, so:
2: Longer. Much much longer to slow down what otherwise might be a population explosion. This would actually help with #1 since… to put it rather clinically, the female body can comfortably carry a lot more weight in the stomach area if it has time to adapt. Also, and especially if growth happens proportionately earlier in the pregnancy: bellies everywhere. ^_^;
For #3 I thought of writing “make everyone female, so everyone can have the opportunity to enjoy pregnancy,” but that’s hardly fair on those who like guys, so:
3: Make it possible for anyone to transition between being male or female. This transition should not require anything external; not even any special type of food or herb, so that neither government nor social group could force anyone into either gender. I wonder if, the transition should even be triggerable by a person’s subconscious in such a way that no amount of conditioning could keep a person one way or the other. The only things that should be able to absolutely prevent transition should be pregnancy and breastfeeding. I don’t know whether the transition should be quick and easy on the body or not… Too easy and a teen who prefers being male but likes to ‘take an afternoon off’ could easily get careless and find ‘himself’ stuck as a pregnant girl. Too hard and someone trapped as a female in slavish conditions would have undue trouble escaping. Too easy again and some sensitive souls could be hurt to find a close lover suddenly the opposite gender.