I don’t like to comment on the fetish* , but sometimes I think that taking a brief step back to look at ourselves is warranted. The question I want to pose in this article is “what kind of maieusiophile do you want to be”?
Nine times out of ten, despite what people might say, having a fetish? It’s totally okay. It’s not as weird or as unholy as people would have you believe. However, how you act on it defines who you are both in terms of the fetish and in terms of your character.
I’m probably going to piss someone off that’s reading this, but, for example, look at furries. I’m sure there are some nice, logical anthropomorphic art enthusiasts out there. Statistically, there’s got to be. And you could pass them on the street and you’d never know it in a million years.
But damned if you see them, even in their own community. Although frankly, that’s the point. They blend in. Because by and large the majority is the demented yiffers that cease to exist as entities if you separate them from their fursonas.
I use furries as an example mainly because I know some of you guys (and yes, maybe even some of you gals) that share the pregnancy fetish will find it easier to point fingers outwards than to look in the mirror and point it at yourself. But I got news for you. In everything there’s the potential for good and bad. Healthy and unhealthy.
It’s the same thing with us. I know some people probably don’t get why I’d invest hours of my time in drawing a picture of a really really pregnant girl or writing a hundred page epic about the same. To me, that’s a constructive, creative way to express my fetish. And, on occasion, those products of mine get mainstream appeal, because I put the effort into making them accessible in that way.
But on the flip side, there are those M guys and gals that are Hard M. It pretty much defines the identity they’ve made for themselves. And though I share a fetish with them, there are degrees of this thing. There’s interest, and then there’s obsession. Nothing weirds me out more than those guys running off to comment about how turned on they are about someone’s home movies on youtube. Or the ones that post incessantly about this pregnant woman across the block that they’ve been stalking for the past month in an attempt to rub them some belly. Or those same guys in the latter group that run up and approach a pregnant woman and try to converse with them until they get their rub on, and then they’re cheered on by everyone else for their being rewarded for their bravery. I’m not using hyperbole here. These are actual examples that I’ve seen. And I’m sure a few people are reading this and thinking “Why is this a problem”? But again, it comes back to my original question.
November 13th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Well. Hm. Personally, typing with my wang out would slow me down. After all, I can only cover one side of the keyboard with one hand. We must then come back to the point that I lack a wang and besides that, I have a roommate.
But you have a point, and one has to consider that fetishes are not reserved for the intelligent, polite, or even sane. Really, it’s all about self control. Some people lack that.
Of course, you have to consider the anonymity mentality. For example, when one sees a pregnant woman at the mall. Now, as a general rule, even if she is very pretty, you will not ask her to lift her shirt and show you her bare belly or even to let you rub her. However, say same pregnant woman is a photographer and posts some photos of herself on the internet… she can’t tell who you are, so you don’t have to be afraid of being embarrassed.
I don’t know. It’s funny you mention this. There’s an interesting article about internet trolling on the New York Times, it really gave me some insight on the matter. Certainly, creepy fetishists aren’t exactly murderers by proxy, but I can’t imagine how that poor woman in the comment example posted felt.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&hp&oref=slogin
November 13th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
After reading this informative article, I’m convinced that I rather be the harmless and weird author than a creepy basement dweller. I also acknowledge that most of my works are somewhat flawed seeing as how I created them while watching TV or was on the computer. Also my state of mind is tamed and full of self control when seeing a pregnant woman in real life.
November 13th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
This is my first time commenting on the blog but I feel I really need to voice my opinion on this topic.
If you look at the different types of communities that exsist, religious groups, art communities like this one, social cliques, you will find one common factor among them. All of these collections of people are negatively stereotyped by the select few radicals that take what the group stands for way too far. In reality the rest of the group are unfairly labeled as being on the same level as the ones who are giving the group a bad name, which is just not true.
Our community is made up of many artists, some better than others, but none the less artists who use their talents as an outlet for their fetish. These creeps are merely using this community and all of its aspects as another tool to satisfy what has now gone from harmless fetish to down right obesession.
I feel only pity for this woman who posted pictures of herself going through the process of becoming a mother to get a comment like that. I don’t blame her for being mad with the guy who left that shameful statement.
To wrap up my comment I feel the people who Sabuuro mentioned need a lesson in self control and manners. I have the same fetish as these people do, the difference is I have control over it and do not let it seep into and effect every portion of my daily life. These people only see pregnancy as a cheap turn on to pleasure themselves with, they don’t see the beauty and wonderful aspects that make pregnancy so appealing to this community.
Well I think that is enough for me at the moment.
November 13th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Well said, my good man. In every community, it tends to be the loudmouths and the extreme weirdoes that get most of the attention, and this goes double for fetish communities. People can be stupid no matter what they’re into.
The best thing to do is to try not to let them ruin it for everyone else.
November 13th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I love you so much Saburo for saying this. Like, more than I can explain. I’ve been a lurker for about 4 years around the fetish scene, (obviously not anymore so much, lololol) and if anyone hates the image our community earns us on the most part, its those of us who sit back and watch.
There nothing more true than most fetishists blend into society, and no one knows better than the fetishists themselves, most of us are actually decent people, have normal thoughts, and actions, live relatively normal love lives as long as they can find understanding partners. I can attest to being pretty normal when I forget about the whole fetish deal.
But, unfortunately, while normal straight pervs won’t ruin the name of all straight men, pervy fetishists make people believe we are all as perverted, its sad, and completely unfair, and chances are, no matter how upset you get, these idiots will still ruin it for us.
November 14th, 2008 at 2:50 am
I’ll name names! ExpansionMansion. Right there. That’s like the center of this whirlpool of weirdness. Do I lurk there? Yup. Is that bad? Probably. But even still, most of those people just creep the hell out of me. I remember one guy acting like he was an awesome guy because, and I paraphrase, “he decided to let his girlfriend not gain weight anymore.” What the fuck kind of attitude IS that? He LET her? Wow.
Seriously. I’m a goddamn perv. I may love cute, adorable, romancy stuff, and starting a family definitely falls in there, but this IS a fetish. So if these folks can bother the hell out of me, then you know something’s up.
November 14th, 2008 at 5:41 am
I think the main problem with the more ‘extreme’ members of our community isn’t that they obsess about the fetish more than some of us, but as they do not have a way to ‘release’ their fetishy thoughts. Saburo, as well as many of the other great artists in our community have their art to express themselves, while others, such as myself, use roleplaying or writing a story to get out that fetish energy. With people who bottle up their fetish energy, it often times causes them to become extremely perverted and only think of pregnancy as fap material.
November 14th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Psh. These guys aren’t bottling up a damn thing. Have you looked at the activity of “hottie2″ They comment like that on TONS of picture. The guys on EM rarely hold anything back. Show me a post that doesn’t mention ‘Tits’, ON ANY FORUM THERE. And I’d be surprised.
Just the internet anonymity that lets that act like the sec depraved perverts they are.
November 14th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
(Regarding the examples of creepy M stalker behavior) I learned something today! XD And it burns!
“But, unfortunately, while normal straight pervs won’t ruin the name of all straight men,”
If you don’t think they affect the image of the average heterosexual male, you haven’t listened to any women for an extended period of time. “Men are pigs” is practically the female anthem.
Relevance:
This makes me sad. These are common-sense violations of decency that anybody outside 4-Chan should know better than to commit no matter their interests. Not everybody shares a fetish (by definition), so respect people’s differences, respect people’s privacy, and respect people’s comfort zones. Those people and anyone who shamelessly flaunts their unusual interests really are asshats for ignoring these rules of conduct.. Too bad. Given the origin of Relevant Content, I get the feeling Saburo’s preaching to the choir for the most part.
November 14th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Well said! I sometimes find it hard not to gaze at a beautiful pregnant woman when I’m out at the mall or whatever, but I know it’s rude and weird so I keep it to myself. I’ve seen guys actually take phone cam pictures of pregnant ladies, though, so it’s not just fetish-fueled internet creeps anymore. Depressing, isn’t it? I’m ashamed to even say anything about this to the men I date because I don’t want them to think I’m one of those freaky sweaty basement trolls.
As a side note, I’m one of those non-sexual furry fans. I just like the idea of sentient humanoids with animal features, but I don’t have, like, a furry altar ego or anything. And frankly, most furry porn is just so out there that it’s on par with anything the Japanese have cranked out.
November 14th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
“If you don’t think they affect the image of the average heterosexual male, you haven’t listened to any women for an extended period of time. “Men are pigs” is practically the female anthem.”
Yes, I’ve heard women accuse all men of that, but there are many women who won’t give someone a chance if they have a fetish because they’ve heard the stories. And yet, most women don’t stray away from all men (there are more straight women than gay women.)
November 15th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I look back with shame and embarasment on a period of my life when I first admitted to myself the “fetish”. I spent the first week absorbing what I could from the internet: reading every hack of an author vomit a story on the net; seeing drawings of truely disgusting bursting pictures, and finally (and here is where my shame comes in) flipping page after page on EM.
I’m don’t like what I did but there it is. I can say at least I never looked for nudity or enjoyed fictional stories on some mysterious rape that ended in a gigantic mid-section. Admitidly this post makes me look like I am lurking on your site, truely sorry about that.
Bottom line: I look still react to pictures but mostly I just look forward to the day my wife and I can enjoy this period of life.
November 17th, 2008 at 7:56 am
Boundries and self control are needed. I never did get why guys thought it was ok to approach random pregnant women to rub their bellies, or take pictures, or what have you. It’s just creepy. It would be creepy to do it to a normal woman, why do they think it would be any better with a pregnant woman?
January 5th, 2009 at 8:05 am
I say this article applies not just to the M community, but to all fetish communities in general. I recall once seeing a fanvid on youtube that related to no fetishes and a stuffer made a creepy comment just because one character was hungry.
I seriously hate how some people just lack self control. Even worse is when it makes others in the same community look bad. They need to realize that not everyone shares their desire. They also need to realize that it can offend not just those who aren’t interested, but also those within their respective community.
Well, like I said. Good article and it should be read by all fetish communities.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I sometimes wonder what it is like to actually have no way of expressing a ‘fetish’(though I like to call it an ‘interest’ because I’ve got enough clinical diagnoses to deal with, one of which sent me to a mental hospital).
Yes, I am crazy. A nut. I even had the gall to ask a random pregnant women if I could “touch it. ’cause I’m intrigued by the subject”. She took it pretty well, declined, and said I’d surely have my chance someday. I think she still talked to the counter about it. I’ve never been to that book store since. It was out of the way, anyway.
As i was saying. I wonder what it is like to not think of any way to learn to express one’s self. Its just as simple as making a list of turn-ons and using your imagination to put it all together and turn it about. Its kind of like a mental doll that you can play with any time you like…in private.
I once did it. Am I ashamed? Yes. Are you probably clicking on the fastest way to stop reading this and wash it out of your brain? I think so.
I’ve moved on to drawing things out because I don’t trust my imagination to show me something good anymore. It just twists into an ugly, violating demon if I try to image something without drawing it out in pencil or ink. I use drawing as an extension and even a replacement for my imagination.
Sorry to say, but I just may be one of the guys that ruin the image of the community. I hope not, though. Although I wonder if it really is a community in the way that is thought. It seems more like there are the artists and the people that don’t even try to draw their own…material. I guess the sexuality is the umbrella that puts us all together, though I wish it wasn’t the case. I sometimes wish that I could bore myself of my fetish and just draw it for genuine interest. Unfortunately, that day may never come as long as I have human blood running through my veins.
January 16th, 2009 at 1:55 am
It seems to me that some people simply can’t control their impulses, or don’t want to. These antisocial extremists don’t have to be fetishists. They’re cut from the same cloth as traditional stalkers and, in worst cases, rapists. They lack the ability to empathize and, therefore, don’t feel the guilt and shame that we would in regards to victimizing pregnant women. They see a sexual object, while the rest of us see a beautiful woman awaiting a miracle. I can’t feel sorry for these people because they can’t feel sorry for others. They simply seek to sate their obsessions without regard to others’ feelings or well-being, and that’s evil.